Chapter One - Silence In Your Scream

Dear journal,

Today was a drag, well, other than that beauty that showed up!
Megan, Allen, and I were sitting on a table in the calf, like always, and this beautiful girl, Amy, walked up. She grabbed my hand and said, "Hello, my name is Amy. What's yours?", I love her voice. It seemed like she was looking into my soul! I've never had that feeling before! I don't think anyone has ever looked into my soul, not like they would want to! My soul is felled with black nothingness.
I couldn't think! Amy left me speechless, that never happens too me! I can always come up with a nice comeback, random dude: "Hey baby wanna ride my dick? Maybe you'll like it and stop being a dyke!" Me: "Oh doesn't that sound like fun! But first maybe you should ride Mark's dick, maybe, just maybe, you'll stop being a fucking bitch!", I get this shit all the time. But a sexy girl walking up to me, asking my name, that never happens to me. I've only had one girlfriend in my life. Megan is bisexual, but she's never been my type. I'm hers, she likes the girls like me; hair that's not to short but not to long, wears tight shirts and baggy jeans. Megan and I have, indeed, made out several times, but we were bored. But something about Amy just made it were I couldn't think.
I believe the exact words that came out of my mouth were, "Um...uh...I'm...umm...uhhh...". I couldn't remember my own name! What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm so lucky my only two friends in the hole wide world were there! Megan was a life saver, "Her name is Sky, I'm Megen, and this is my boyfriend Allen.", while she introduced everyone, I had this blank look on my face. You know the one! That look that makes you look like you're about to have drool fall out of your mouth.
I think, just think, Amy is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! I cant believe i can't say any thing! 'Oh. My. Fucking. God. Sky. Freaking say something! Stop staring at her! You look like a moron!' Well at lest i know that i can say stuff in my mind, that means i have yet to go completely brain dead, and I haven't forgotten my name, cause that would be even more embarrassing! "Um...uh...ummm...h-h-h-hi..." I said. I AM A MORON!! She told me it was nice to meet me! ME! What the hell, I looked like a fucking moron! I don't deserve to have someone as beautiful as her say that its "nice" to meet me! After that sad display of "player" on my part, she walked away.
"Dude! Sky, she's so into you! Lucky bitch!" Allen said to me. My first thought was 'Yeah fucking right!'. Allen is a sweetheart, I will give him that, but he always thinks the "hot" girls are into me. Its really funny because the only time he was wrong...he didn't think Megan was into me, HAHA, she is still into me. I thought I should inform him that Amy was not into me, I told him that she was probably told to act like that by her boyfriend or something. He knows how all them mess me all the time. Apparently a lesbian is unacceptable at this ungodly fucking school, the girls can fuck any guy they want to and the guys can fuck any girl willing to fuck them, but god forbid, if some one is gay or lesbian they get harassed, a LOT!
"Hey, Megan, do you think that girl, Amy, likes our little Sky?" Allen asked, "Hello? Megan?".
"Hum, what? Sorry, I wasn't listening, there is a hot guy over there." Megan is always checking out people, its really embarrassing, we can be walking down the hallway together and she will be looking some poor girl or guy up and down.
"Allen thinks that Amy is into me, I think no. What are your thoughts on the subject?" I say so Allen doesn't have to repeat himself.
"Yeah, she's into you." BULLSHIT!! I so disagree with that! Major disagree!
"Whatever." I said. "I'll probably never see her again!" I mean, come on, why would they think this girl is into me? she screamed straight! Straight, dick loving, girl!
I was saved by the bell. I walked to class, by myself, its so funny seeing all the little freshmen last and confused. English was my first class of the day, my teacher is a major hottie. And for that reason alone, I picked a set in the far back, i get to look at her more! HAHA, I'm such a loser! You'll never guess who was setting in the set in front of me! That's fucking right! Amy is in this fucking class! God! Cant a little dyke get a break! "Hi, Sky." She said, I cant believe she remembered my name! I'm so in lust with her, if we weren't in class at that moment in time, I would have jumped on her. Well, maybe not, I cant even talk right now, my mind is blank. I cant believe this is happening again. What the fuck!! "So, Sky, are you dating anybody?" Um, what kind of question is that? From a straight girl! Really?
"Um, no. My ex, Emma Hale, dumped me about a month ago." I told her with a strange look upon my face.
"OK. Hale as in Lzzy and Arejay Hale of Halestorm? Cause i know you didn't date anybody in that family!" What the hell, am i not good enough for a Hale? I mean, come on, Lzzy Hale is hot and all, but I could rock her world! Well, i could try.
"No, not of the famous Hale's." I told her, i was kinda mean when i said it, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. "Anyways, I pretty sure nobody form that family would want me!" I told her.
"Why not?" Amy asked me. "You're fucking hot."
Well, she got me to do that i-has-no-brain look. "Um...you..um...think...I'm hot?"
Before she could answer my question the class started, talk about saved by the bell. Class went well, I guess, I really couldn't pay attention, I kept staring at the back of Amy's head. And i thought i would be staring at the teacher all class...WRONG!!
After an hour of staring at the back of Amy's beautiful head, Mrs. Clark asked me to stay after. Oh, yeah! Staying after to talk to Ms. Hottie! No, not even like that, Mrs. Clark noticed that i wasn't paying any attention to her today and wanted to know why. "I...um....I was just zoning out...i guess." I told her, no way i could tell her the real reason. She told me that I need to pay more attention in class, if i don't she was going to move me to the front of the class. I don't want that, not at all! I told her that i will pay attention and that i would rather not move up front. Its like she guessed that I like Amy, move to the front was a way to get me to pay attention and she knew it.
When i walked out of the room, Amy was standing there. "Hey, I wanted too talk to you." She said to me.
"OK, what do you wanna talk about?" I said, I felt kinda weird, but that might be because i wanna jump her.
"Well, since you're single, I wanted to know if you wanted to go out...with me...tonight...maybe." Amy looked a little shy.
"Tonight, um...I cant, I'm hanging out with Allen and Megan." Amy looked really disappointed. "But maybe some other night, I'm free whenever, other than tonight. Sorry." I kinda felt bad about blowing her off, but what are you going to do when you make plans with friends?